Monday, August 7, 2017

CUT AWAY! CUT AWAY!

The Ampipe High School locker room from All the Right Moves (1983) exemplifies the sacred yet malodourous, bacteria-ridden home of men.  We find the Bulldogs gearing up for practice, readying for their rival, Walnut Heights.

Gearing up in Ampipe apparently means a dance scene amongst the players; the only scene in the movie tailored for the female audience.  It’s cheesy, but not solely for its absurdity.

The real violation occurs over 14 seconds of a meat-titted, beer body with graying chest hair doing their best locker room jig.  That's 14 seconds of Tank


An eternity for a single shot.  An eternity of screen time for that guy.

We, at Nitflix, are not asking for too much when we beseech a re-edit!  3 seconds is the maximum elapsed time we are requesting.  The editors can fill with whatever they want with that remaining 11 seconds.  

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