YOU’RE NO ALIEN! (Warning! Spoilers Ahead!)

Part of Stranger Things’ appeal (notably to Gen-X’ers) is the nostalgia manifested within the world of Hawkins, Indiana.

 

Which is why we scratched our heads at the evolution of the Demadogs (Demagorgon, Mind Flayer, whatever floats your boat), compared to that of the terrifying, sweaty tooth beast from LV-426 (Alien).

The similarities between beasts are obvious:  fast, exponential body growth, shedding of skin, multiple sets of teeth and a quick first step.  The Alien has acid for blood and therefore, cannot simply be shot and killed.  The Demadog doesn’t have a true self-defense mechanism.  Its only protection is Will, who is infected by the Shadow Monster and the agent by which the evil beasts exist.

 

The nitpick being, Stranger Things cut corners and didn’t give us a monster worth its horrifying salt.  

Aside from the look, the Demadogs are a poor man’s replica of the Alien.  They are not monsters as much as they are simply undomesticated pets from the Upside Down running amok, with no passion except for human flesh.  They have no inner life.

In contrast, the Alien has a goal of constantly reproducing its kind, stopping at nothing to ensure its preservation.  They are beings that can survive on their own and aren’t relegated to a world controlled inside someone’s imagination.  Moreover, there is gravitas with direct conflict and not through a supernatural conduit.

 

It also doesn’t wash that the heat-laden exorcism of Will could occur with any sort of time sensitivity.

Just ask Father Merrin when he tried to run Pezuzu out of Reagan’s body in The Exorcist… it’s a real pain in the ass.

A WOMAN ON THE BRINK (Warning! Spoilers Ahead!)

Joyce Byers’s (Winona Ryder) 1976 Ford Pinto* is by all accounts, a piece-of-crap car that is a bumper tap away from total combustion.  

Viewers have come to understand the car as such, which is why it seems to be a proper fit for Joyce as she, like the car is on the brink and a brilliant metaphor for the fragility of life that Joyce endures. 

With some knowledge to the defect in the Pinto, we get a taste of our own ‘Oh, Shit’ moment as she nearly crashes the car into Hopper’s Ford Bronco in a frantic search for him.

A closer look at Joyce Byers is to see a woman doing her best to preserve the last vestiges of a normal family, working hard at the five and dime, living in a house that looks like a composite of paper mache and rotting wood.  All the while worried sick about her son and his frightening condition.

Enter Dr. Owens (Paul Reiser – in a reprise role a la Aliens) who is of no help in regards to Will’s unshakeable hallucinations with the Upside Down.  He suggests to, “Treat him (Will) normally.  Be patient with him and don’t pressure him to talk.”

Joyce balks at this, questioning the expert, but then resigns to the doctor who ‘gets it’ and is ‘on her side’.  As a result, she struggles throughout the series to get clear answers from the experts and suffers the stigma of someone who is out of her league, even though her concerns are rational.

 

It’s enough to drive any mother of a poltergeist-ridden child absolutely bat-shit and moreover, a candidate for careless driving.

 

For the sake of viewers Joyce, please drive safely.

*Note:  The defect on the Ford Pinto was in the rear bumper and not the front bumper, to which Joyce almost rear-ended Hopper’s Bronco.  It’s not an accurate representation of the defect.  But we still yelled “Oh, Shit” when we saw it almost happen.

ARCADE BRAVERY (Warning! Spoilers Ahead!)

The heroism and bravery were replete in Season 1, and this season of Stranger Things is no different.  

We open Season 2 finding our heroes, amassing quarters for their impending usage at the local joystick and button parlor whereby local, acne-ridden youth imbibe in games of chance.

Dustin finds his booty in the living room couch.  Lucas brings his hard-earned, lawn mowing money to the kitty, and Mike takes to his sister’s dresser and raids her piggy bank.

Will meets the rest of the gang at the arcade (thanks to a ride from Mom and her Ford Pinto) and is under no obligation to bring money.  After all, why bug him for quarters?  He has enough on his plate with going in and out of the Upside-down world.

 

Inside the Palace Arcade, the gang surrounds Dustin who is at the helm of a video game.  The editors at Nitflix saw the name on the side and immediately had a flashback.

It brought about of our own days spent riding bikes to Michael’s Red Hots in Highland Park, scarfing down dogs and fries in a matter of seconds before commandeering Dragon’s Lair, the first-ever fully-animated arcade game.

 

We said to ourselves, “We know this game, its characters and the lost time and money that resulted due to our feeble pursuit of a cartoon character.”

We fell of our couches in nostalgic ecstasy.

The object of the game was to successfully complete a set of challenges before attempting to save the smoking-hot Princess Daphne.  A thumb’s move of the joystick in the wrong direction and Dirk the Daring (the hero of Dragon’s Lair) loses a life.  After three lost lives, the game is over and Dirk turns into a skeleton.

The allure to Dragon’s Lair was the challenge of making the correct move, based on a pre-programmed set of ‘correct’ movements of the joystick and/or ‘Sword’ button.  Unlike Pac-Man, you couldn’t simply navigate your way out of a corner and elude the ghost chasing you.  Every movement (right, left, up or down) had to be correct.

 

Perhaps more importantly, it was also the first arcade game to cost fifty cents and it took a stockpile of coins to save the Princess.  Dustin gives the spot-on comment of the game being ‘overpriced bullshit’, kicking it while bemoaning its bias towards the human race, reminding us that our pubescent aspirations of being a ‘Knight in Shining Armor’, were just aspirations and nothing more.

Cue Max (Sadie Sink), a Princess Daphne in her own right, who comes to town in the form of red-headed, skateboard-savvy, California girl.

Oh, and she blasted away Dustin’s high score on Dig Dug.  Now that’s hot.